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Warning: some readers may find this content distressing.
On December 18, 1976, my life changed forever.
That evening, I became the tenth victim of the East Area Rapist, later to become known as the (GSK). The GSK terrorized the Greater Sacramento, California region from 1976 through 1979, raping 50 women (that are known, and likely more) and killing two people. He moved further afield and continued his crime spree up until 1986. By the time he was done, he had killed a total of 13 people (many in Southern California).
As evening began on that fateful day, I was a happy, deeply religious, and carefree 15-year-old. A few hours later, that carefree teenager was no more. Around 6pm, I was home alone while my parents attended a Christmas party. I was playing our piano when I suddenly felt a knife at my throat and a man wearing a ski mask told me, “Do what I say or I’ll kill you and be gone in the dark”. He proceeded to rape me three times over the next two-plus hours. He alternated leaving me outside, naked in the winter cold, and bringing me in different rooms where he raped me. Three different times I thought I would be killed that night. Most horrifying was when he moved me on a couch in front of our fireplace and left me tied, blindfolded, and gagged. Feeling the heat, I thought he had started the house on fire and had left me to die.
Kris was only 15 when she was raped by the Golden State Killer on December 18, 1976. Source: Insight
Eventually, not knowing if he was still there, I gathered the courage to wriggle over to a phone and I called my neighbors and told them what happened. They came over, untied me and called the police. This started a second victimization which entailed adult male police officers asking me very intimate questions that a naïve 15-year-old was not ready to deal with. I had to relive the nightmare that had just happened, recounting whatever details I had not already blocked out of my mind. I told the police to keep my parents in the other room; I could not face them because of the shame I felt. I have re-read the police report 42 years later, and I realized that I subsequently blocked out many details that I told the police in the immediate aftermath of the attack.
My third victimization of the night occurred when I was transported to the hospital and the “rape kit” was administered. This consisted of a nurse taking swabs to obtain semen samples and looking at my body through a magnifying glass. This experience would be difficult and humiliating for an adult; it was beyond humiliating for a barely 15-year-old.
My fourth victimisation was created out of love, with the best of intentions… and by my parents. My parents felt it was best not to talk about what had happened, that it was in my best interest to try to put this incident behind me. I was forbidden from talking about it with anyone – my friends, even my sister. My dad heard me talking to a friend about it on the phone and sternly told me I was not allowed to talk about that. My parents were doing what they thought was best, given their background and the times they grew up in. And there isn’t anyone I cherish more than my mother. But their attempt to protect me only made me internalise my feelings, where they would stay bottled up for 42 years, stopping me from becoming the person I was meant to be.
Joseph James DeAngelo, who came to be known as the Golden State Killer, was finally captured in 2018. Source: AAP
Every year thereafter, as December 18 approached, I would start becoming anxious. The 18th was always a difficult day… what was I doing at this time in 1976??? I had panic attacks for years. I attended counseling but thought it was a waste of time – I only attended because it was required to get a prescription for my panic attacks. I pretended to be “normal”, but in the back of my mind I knew that I was different than other people.
In March of 2018, my attitude suddenly changed. I decided it was time to confront what happened to me 42 years earlier and to share that with my husband and sister. It was the start of my rebirth. Coincidentally, or perhaps because spiritual forces were at work, this was three weeks before the GSK was captured. He was finally caught when who was able to use DNA data in public genealogy websites and eventually link it back to him.
With his capture, I felt that for the first time I was on the road to healing. But what I found was that the real beginning of my journey of healing wasn’t his capture. It was the act of saying out loud, “This happened to me,” that was so very freeing. That seemingly simple act - but it isn’t - started my road to recovery.
Kris Pedretti has helped many other sexual assault survivors through her private Facebook group - Time To Tell Your Story. Source: Supplied
So I decided to start a where other victims could tell their stories, many for the first time, in a caring and safe environment. Most survivors who have joined will watch the site for a few weeks or longer before engaging. But when they do tell their stories, it is heartbreaking. And then other members provide supporting comments - and it becomes heartwarming. According to the participants, a huge weight is lifted off their shoulders.
Now this is no substitute for therapy, but for some it is the spark they need to consider therapy. They can talk with other survivors of sexual assault and know that they are not alone. Participating in the conversations is part of their healing journey. Many participants have held these feeling inside for decades - one woman told her story for the first time after 61 years… that is a long time to carry that weight. There are participants from across the world – many from Australia.
When I look back at the arrest of the GSK to where I am now, I realise the support that I received from trauma therapy, law enforcement, victims' advocates, other victims of sexual assault, friends, family, and the entire community, led me back to myself and the happiness that I deserve. Because of this, I will forever be an advocate for all victims of sexual assault and vow to pay it forward in any way that I can.
If you, or someone you know, needs help you can contact on 1800 737 732 or on 13 11 14.
