say one in four women in Australia experience violence from someone close to them. Such incidents are increasingly being reported within Australia's Nepali community too, with community leaders and women's organisations saying they're regularly meeting women who come to them for help.
Kushal Bhattarai - a Sydney based lawyer of Nepali origin, says that on average, two to three people come to him every week for advice on incidents that occur in a domestic setting.
The legal counsel says many are forced to suffer due to challenges of navigating the legal process or with difficulties relating to language.
Rita's story, a domestic violence survivor
Source: Neosiam 2020/Pexels/
Rita* (name changed) who came to Australia on a student visa is one such victim of domestic violence.
Shortly after arriving in Australia, she got married. And not long after, Rita's husband also came on a dependent visa.
Rita says, it did not take long, for her newlywed husband to start showing his true colour.
"It was all well in the beginning, but he got accustomed to the lifestyle here in Australia, it was all about him - as if I didn't even exist," she explained.
Rita says she also started suffering mentally because of her growing disillusionment with her husband.
"Instead of playing the role of a friend, guardian in a foreign land with no immediate family, he just went about his business. There were times when I came home after work or the classes and prepared dinner and waited to have the meal together."
"He would come home, and instead of how partners normally interact, he would not even ask how I was or have the meal together. It was all about him. He often would eat and come home. So it was not pretty to start with," she said.When the arguments escalated, and she was physically assaulted by her husband, she felt as if she had fallen off a cliff.
Participants at a domestic violence awareness workshop organised by Nari Nikunja - Women Forum. Source: Nari Nikunja
"I could not believe it, simply could not."
Her husband's attack came at a time when she says she needed love and care the most.
They just had a daughter.
"I thought everything would settle down and he would be more responsible than childlike. It was for a few months. He was doing his bit, but then he started telling our common friends that he would be leaving me. I thought he was pranking, but then he started physically hurting me," Rita told SBS Nepali.
With the responsibilities of a year-old child and the stress of work, Rita says she was determined to get through what she thought was a rough patch.
But when her husband pressured her against going out, meeting friends and families, Rita could not even find a place to vent.
Eventually, she took the matter in her own hands and decided that what she really needed to do was to seek out help - amongst her distant relatives.
She told them of her suffering but still could not muster the courage to reveal that her husband had stooped so low to beat her when she was pregnant.
After some time, they eventually separated and got divorced.
Source: Sofia Garza/Pexels
Rita says that even after the divorce, the beating did not stop. Once it also occurred in front of her mother and the child.
Stating that she will never forget the incident that took place on a certain November 2nd a few years ago, she says, "He suddenly started attacking my mother and me."
"I called the police to help save the life of my three-year-old child and my old mother. Thank goodness they arrived in time."
This is only a representative case with many such instances of domestic violence within the Nepali community in various parts of Australia have been brought to court.
Is domestic violence just physical violence?
Participants at a domestic violence awareness workshop organised by Nari Nikunja - Women Forum. Source: Narinikunja
Even establishing sexual relations without consent is considered a form of violence in a domestic setting.
Wendy Muir, from Legal Aid, elaborates on the behaviours of domestic violence in a program targeted at the Nepali community.
"People have the right to have those choices. Forcing a person to fall pregnant, forcing a person to terminate a pregnancy, forcing a person to use birth control or not to use birth control," she says.
Similarly, in the domestic environment, the practice of putting pressure on another person through physical, mental, financial or any other means falls within the definition of domestic violence, says lawyer Kushal Bhattarai.
Kushal Bhattarai, a longtime lawyer in Sydney, says people come to him every week to seek advice on such domestic violence cases.
He says such violence is not limited to husbands and wives but can also occur between children, partners or anyone living in a home environment.
कुशल भट्टराई Source: SBS नेपाली
Ms Muir, on the other hand, says that under the rule of law, bringing a person to court or threatening to bring him to justice is also a form of violence.
"Scaring people, telling them they are going to get deported, telling them if they go to the police, police are not going to listen to them."
Kushal Bhattarai estimates that there are almost three times more cases of domestic violence than complaints lodged with the police.
Delaila Sinka, a Diversity liaison officer with the Community and Legal Aid Service, says her unit provides information on legal services available in Australia to people from a variety of community and cultural backgrounds.
She says it is essential to inform the community about the laws here when many come to Australia from their homeland.
"Especially a lot of Nepali community (members) are international students. They bring their spouse here on a spouse visa. Some of them are under a lot of pressure of study, working and have their families to support," Ms Sinka told SBS Nepali.
"That sometimes can push them to the limit."
Advocate Kushal Bhattarai told SBS Nepali that victims from immigrant backgrounds, in particular, tend to be reluctant to file complaints due to lack of knowledge of the legal process, language problems and cultural values.
Victoria to set up Study Melbourne hub in India to lure international students. Source: Abhas Parajuli
He also said that some people do not file complaints because of fears or concerns about visa or "immigration status" and financial difficulties.
According to Kushal Bhattarai, any incident between husband and wife should not be taken as a private matter only.
He suggested that the community could play a role in such incidents by monitoring the alleged victims and perpetrators as well as their activities, but seek legal redress first.
In the event of domestic violence, various community groups can provide assistance and provide guidance on where to go.
One of them is the Non-Resident Nepali Association-Australia (NRNA-A), and Nari Nikunja is women forum of NRNA-A which looks explicitly into issues of domestic violence in the community.
Sandhya Sah, the national coordinator of Nari Nikunja, said that they receive about complaints of domestic violence every week.
Bhattarai, on the other hand, says that up to three cases come before him every week.
In particular, many cases related to the Appraised Violence Order (AVO) have been registered before the court.
Kushal Bhattarai has the experience that even though the law of Australia allows AVOs to be taken in any family environment due to the pressure exerted by one member on another, AVOs are not prevalent in the is not considered in the Nepali community unless there is a scuffle.
Since the state represents the victim as soon as they lodge a complaint with the police, domestic law firms such as those of Bhattarai provides services to the defendants.
He also pointed out the fact that sometimes so-called perpetrator is a victim himself.
Mr Bhattarai said it is essential to gather the necessary evidence if one thinks that they had been involved in violence or if they did not engage in violent activities.
According to him, in such cases, it might be necessary to keep the evidence like phone recordings or electronic message exchanges.
"Sometimes false claims are made by manipulating the system," says Bhattarai.
Source: Pexels
Domestic violence is perpetrated in the family environment by people who have had family relationships in the past or present, whether they are women or men.
However, according to national statistics, the number of men committing violence against women is higher, and the victims are mostly women.
Although women are seen as victims most of the time, Bhattarai also confirmed that men are also seen as victims at times.
"Beating is not the only form of domestic violence. We need to teach our community what domestic violence is," he told SBS Nepali.
Dev Gurung, vice-president of NRNA-A, seems to agree with Bhattarai.
He says that one of the main reasons for the occurrence of domestic violence is the patriarchal thinking that still exists in the Nepali community and the mentality of men trying to oppress women as weak.
If you, or someone you know, needs help you can contact 1800 RESPECT, a national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and information service. Their number is 1800 737 732. You can also contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
