From Hong Kong to Australia
Almost nine years after arriving in Australia from Hong Kong, Ah Pool* can open up about being a lesbian.
“I was faced with some pretty offensive and direct questions in my previous workplace in Hong Kong so I can’t say I love the place. They don’t accept homosexuality. If you come out as gay, they’ll bully you. So, to protect yourself, it’s best not to admit that you’re gay.”
In Hong Kong, she felt she couldn't be herself, but remained relatively optimistic, believing that there were no reasons why gay people would be treated unfairly if they didn’t affect other people’s lives.
However, she says some of her homosexual friends felt societal pressures and were very unhappy.
While studying in Brisbane, it was a question from her professor that took her by surprise.
“After class, a professor came up to me and started chatting. They asked, ‘What do we refer to you as? Do we use ‘he’ or ‘she’?
“They wanted to clarify my gender identity to avoid causing any offence.”
In this one query, she experienced something that had never occurred in Hong Kong, where she says no one cares to ask.
It was only after she arrived in Australia that she realised asking someone how they wanted to be addressed was a basic question that demonstrated mutual respect.
In Hong Kong, Ah Pool says she’s been in situations where she’s been forced out of women’s toilets.
She’s also heard of stories of cross-dressing men who were beaten up and blocked from entering the men’s toilets.
It is for these reasons that Ah Pool supports the establishment of unisex toilets as a way to mitigate threats to personal safety.
'These stories only occur in fairy tales'
Ah Pool has many male friends, and, on some occasions, they would show affection by hanging their arms over her shoulders.
But as soon as she felt they were developing feelings for her, she’d distance herself.
In Hong Kong and in Australia she’s had instances where men have pursued her. 
But Ah Pool admits she often met women through her male friends. The woman in one case was another student at her university, enrolled in a different subject.
Ah Pool* says Hong Kong society isn't open to homosexuality. Source: Dr Lin
The two got to know each other during cigarette breaks and study sessions.
“I took care of her when she was under exam pressure. I brought her food to make her happier and feel more relaxed.
“I think the reason I was attracted to her was because of her attentiveness and single-mindedness. Hard workers are really appealing.”
Ah Pool finally opened up to the woman about her feelings. The woman wasn’t upset. But eventually, the woman left Australia and the relationship ended, which became a low point for Ah Pool as she felt she should have put more effort into it.
Ah Pool is currently single and believes the right person hasn’t come along yet.
She says she’s not interested in all women just because she’s gay. She’s got plenty of female relationships that are purely platonic.
Ah Pool* says she feels free to be whoever she wants to be in Australia. Source: Dr Lin
“Even if you're not homosexual and you’re straight or heterosexual … If you want to get to know someone, then you have to spend time dating them … It’s very hard to fall in love overnight and be with that one person for the rest of your life. These stories only occur in fairy tales.”
The views of family and friends
Like many other Chinese families, Ah Pool’s sexual orientation hasn’t been accepted by her entire family.
She considers herself lucky to have the full support of her younger brother. Her dad is also easy-going and just wants his daughter to be happy.
“It’s a shame my mum isn’t as open. She hasn’t explicitly said anything to me, and I haven’t gone out my way to reveal anything to her but she’s always indicated that being gay is wrong and asked me not to be that way inclined.”
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【出櫃聞記】從香港到澳洲 同男仔出街到追女仔
Friends are aware of Ah Pool’s sexual orientation although she hasn’t come out to them.
She says her friends, who are also in their 30s or younger, accept people no matter their orientation.
Ah Pool believes there’s always going to be gender inequality in society. She thinks that men have more power and there are greater benefits to being a man. Though, she’s content with her assigned gender and finds it understandable that some women wish to be male.
“Women aren’t inferior to men, we’re all humans. Since I was born female, I’m going to accept myself and my gender.”
Does Australian culture have an influence?
Ah Pool doesn’t think she’s been influenced by Australian culture, nor has it had an impact on her sexual orientation.
She says she’s picked up knowledge of people with different sexual orientations through the growth of the internet and channels such as YouTube.
“[Through the internet] for example, I found that I’m part of a large cohort of people that fall under the category of LGBITQ+. It’s not just me, or a small group. Some people aren’t gay or lesbian, they could be transgender. They also fall in love.”
In Australia, Ah Pool went through another transformation. She went from being a bad student in Hong Kong to graduating with a master’s degree and quickly finding a full-time job.
Ah Pool* says her mum isn't aware of her coming out as a lesbian. Source: Dr Lin
She’s now helping her brother come to Australia to study.
For now, rather than dating, she’s keen on focusing on her career and personal research project.
Outside of participating in diversity and inclusion activities, Ah Pool says she also plans to take the initiative to help more people understand issues related to LGBTIQ+ groups.
She says she doesn’t want to explain the needs of LGBTIQ+ groups or what makes them different because “everyone is just a human being”.
Her aim is to work on bettering herself and making a positive impact on the community upon her return to Hong Kong.
*Not their real name
